Ok, obviously this is not news. This is one of those things everyone knows, at least on a subconscious level, but doesn’t want to admit.
Research suggests that women do in fact find sexist men attractive. Gul and Kupfer recently published research where they conducted multiple experiments, testing women’s attraction to different types of men, and teasing out women’s motivations.
“Sexist” has a negative connotation, but really, sexism is something innate to all human beings. Sexism just means that men and women are different and, as such, ought to be treated differently and according to different expectations. Everyone understands this on an instinctual level and revelation reaffirms these instincts: “And the male is not like the female.” [Quran 3:36]
Past research has suggested that evolutionary biology explains these dynamics, pointing to findings that women reportedly prefer men with more masculine features and more indicators of “fitness.” Gul and Kupfer take a related tack, but head in a slightly different direction. They suggest that female interest in sexist men, specifically men who display “benevolent sexism” may be seen by women as being more interested in investing resources in a woman.
“Benevolent sexism” sounds like a great term for the patriarchy called for in Islam. Patriarchy has a simple definition: A social system in which men hold more power than women. Every society in history has been patriarchal. Most importantly for Muslims, the Prophet’s ﷺ society was patriarchal in the sense that men wielded more power than women. And furthermore, Allah calls for this patriarchy in explicit terms in the Quran:
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. [Quran 4:34]
Despite creative translations from some apologists, the wording of the ayah makes it very clear: qawwamuna `ala. Allah has given men authority over women due to how He has created men and women and the roles He has defined for them in this ayah and elsewhere, as well as in the example of the Prophet ﷺ.
But, as the Quran and Sunna show, this is a benevolent patriarchy. Men are authorities by virtue of taking care of women, protecting them, shielding them from harm, providing for their children, etc. This is a patriarchy that benefits all, men and women alike.
There is profound wisdom in the way that Allah has created males and females as different and made both sexes with defined, complimentary roles.
Feminists, however, want to portray patriarchy as an evil force for subjugating women for the selfish interests of men. This kind of evil patriarchy is nothing more than a boogeyman invented by the feminist imagination. Yes, there are abusive men who violate the norms of the sharia by harming their wives or daughters. But these individuals don’t constitute a “system of oppression” any more than abusive women constitute a “matriarchal system of oppression.”
Despite aspects of benevolent sexism appearing chivalrous and romantic, previous research has found that women who endorse these beliefs often demonstrate approval of restrictions on women’s freedoms, independence, and autonomy, and may impact women’s support for gender egalitarianism.
Yeah, of course. It’s a fantastic deal. A husband protects his wife with his life and takes care of her with his blood, sweat, and tears. The least his wife can do is be devoted, loving, and obedient. This is basic common sense.
Men and women are innately attracted to members of the opposite sex who fit these roles, which can be summarized as: men as breadwinners and maintainers, women as mothers and caretakers. It is only modernist indoctrination that has turned people off from these basic principles humanity has been practicing for thousands of years.
Gul and Kupfer used several different related experiments in order to test why women find men with these types of beliefs to be more sexy and appealing. They found that women who saw these types of men as more attractive also saw the men as being more willing to protect and care for them, and to commit to a relationship. Interestingly though, these women weren’t love-struck fools, but had their eyes open about these men.
In other words, smart women know what kind of men are really going to take care of them and their children. Apparently, the “woke” men, i.e., white knights, are more useful for virtue signalling on social media than actually getting things done.
Women who were both more and less feminist displayed similar levels of attraction to sexist men, so this effect isn’t the result of women not being “woke” enough.
Big surprise there. /s
Try as they might, feminists can’t escape their basic instincts and the way they have been created.
Women who find sexist men attractive are not being traitors to other women, nor are they naïve women who don’t understand their choices. Instead, they are women who are making rational decisions, accepting tradeoffs. They are women who recognize that it may be more beneficial to have a partner who is committed to them and willing to sacrifice for them and their family, than it is to have a “woke” feminist man who wants them to be independent.
First of all, this shows that the attraction to sexist men is not the result of some kind of brainwashing or false consciousness. Women are not only instinctually attracted to sexist men, they also rationally understand why sexist men are overall better for their interests.
Second, those men who project a “woke feminist” attitude are often the ones who are deadbeats and even abusive. As the researchers note, many women clearly pick up on this — whether consciously or subconsciously — which informs their preference for sexist men, among other things.
Time for women to own up to their true feelings and for men to man up and be the benevolent patriarchs the world needs.
Haddad and Esposito state that “although Islam is often criticized for the low status it has ascribed to women, many scholars believe that it was primarily the interpretation of jurists, local traditions, and social trends which brought about a decline in the status of Muslim women. In this view Muhammad granted women rights and privileges in the sphere of family life, marriage, education, and economic endeavors, rights that help improve women’s status in society.” However, “the Arab Bedouins were dedicated to custom and tradition and resisted changes brought by the new religion.” Haddad and Esposito state that in this view “the inequality of Muslim women happened because of the preexisting habits of the people among whom Islam took root. The economics of these early Muslim societies were not favorable to comfortable life for women. More important, during Islam’s second and third centuries the interpretation of the Qur’an was in the hands of deeply conservative scholars, whose decisions are not easy to challenge today.”